I’ve been dating the same girl for over 3 years and I love her to death. We have an excellent sex life, and we’ve started experimenting a bit more. But ever since we’ve started experimenting I want to have sex with other girls, to the point where I momentarily (only while horny and not thinking straight) debate breaking up with her/cheating on her just so I can try to get with girls. I don’t want to lose her, and I have double standards (I don’t want her to do another guy). Any suggestions?

I think one of the biggest misconceptions in relationships is that you have to stop caring about a person (or even hate them) in order to break up with them. That’s simply not true. You can still love someone and not want to be with them because they’re just not “that person” for you. You care for them, you love them, they’re one of your closest friends, but you’re not in love with them.

Why am I telling you this? Because, in my opinion, I don’t think you’re in love with your girlfriend. I’ll hazard a guess and say that you started experimenting because you both were getting bored and in order to help your relationship, you started doing more experimental things to change it up and see if it would rekindle the flame that feels like it’s dying out.

Is that the reason why all couples start experimenting sexually? NOT AT ALL! I only think that’s the reason in your particular case because you mentioned thinking about other girls, you’ve considered breaking up with her on more than one occasion just because you want to sleep with someone else, you’ve even thought about cheating on her.

Those are the biggest signs that you have a big problem in your relationship. Do not cheat on your girlfriend. Respect her. Be loyal to her. Be honest with her. The only way you can hurt her more than by breaking up with her, is by betraying her. Cheating is NEVER an option. You say you love her, prove it, and stay faithful. Someone you love deserves that respect.

If you want to sleep with other people, that’s okay. That doesn’t make you a bad person. But it does mean that you need to do the right thing and end your relationship before you make a mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life.

You don’t want to lose her because she’s a huge part of your life. She’s one of your best friends. Unfortunately, that’s not a reason to keep going the way you are. If you love her, break up with her and pursue who you want to pursue. You will lose her for a little while, but if your relationship is strong enough, there’s a chance you can come back as friends. If you continue on this path, you will likely end up cheating on her and ending any possibility to have her as a part of your future.

That’s my suggestion. I’m sorry if it’s not what you were looking for.