Did he TELL you that you’re not good in bed???? If he did, I say tell him he can go fuck himself and you can find someone better than that asshole. No one should ever make you feel insecure or tell you that you’re not “up to par” in bed. That’s fucking bullshit. You don’t even want to be with an dickhead who acts like that! He doesn’t deserve the time of day from you!
However, if this is more of YOUR perceived insecurities and not exactly what he said, then let’s talk about it.
First things first, you have to forget about his ex. You will never get anywhere by comparing yourself to her. And just because she was experienced, doesn’t mean she was any good. He’s with YOU now, not her. Obviously she was lacking somehow for him because he’s with you now. Make sure you remind yourself of that every time you start to let those thoughts creep back in, self-doubt, and comparing yourself. The ex doesn’t matter. It’s all about you and him right now.
I know you said you talked to him, but what did he say exactly? If he was looking for something in bed that you guys haven’t been doing, then he should have been specific about what it was. How else are you going to know? Talk to him, communicate, find out what it is that he wants that you guys aren’t doing and then test it out.
Enthusiasm and confidence are the biggest benchmarks of good sex. It’s a huge turn on for both men and women. Taking charge with confidence is one of the hottest things you can do. So to hell with his ex, he’s yours now! Act on your ideas! I know you have them. I think that you know exactly what you want to do and how to spice things up, but you’re holding back because you’re worried about being held up to ex for comparison. Nothing is going to change for you until you stop thinking like that and let the past be the past. He wants to be with you so instead of being shy and insecure, let this be your damn victory parade! He’s going to find it the hottest thing ever.
Honestly, I think that’s what it comes down to. You’re letting the “idea” of his experienced ex get in between you and it’s interfering with your sex life! You’re not letting him down, I promise you. And it’s not all about him! What about you? Are you getting enough satisfaction from your sex life? I’m gonna guess no. Why? Because you’re too freaked out about not being good enough to enjoy it fully. Or maybe he’s a shit lay. I don’t know! But you owe it to yourself to try to figure this out.
Talk to him, talk about what he feels is missing, talk about what you’re not getting either, tell him what you’re worried about, tell him that you’re worried about not matching up. That’s something he would want to know! He’d want to know that you’re feeling that way so that he can reassure you and tell you just how wrong you are. Honesty is the place to start. If he understands where you’re coming from, that will help both of you so much more.
Then you can throw him down, get on top, and focus on nothing else but fucking the living hell out of him. Do it exactly the way you want to do it and the way I know you’ve been thinking about doing. It’s the first step to regaining your confidence and proving to yourself that you know what you want. It’s not about him – it’s about you. If you are confident and open and eager, you will blow his mind.
It’s not about the ‘tricks’ or this move over that move, it’s about how passionate you are with each other, your feelings for each other, and the connection you share. That’s what sets you apart from any other girl he’s been with. When you are YOU, when you let go of your inhibitions and are completely yourself with him, that alone will put you in your own category and there will never be any comparison.
Sumptuous Daydreams 