First off, are you sexually attracted to your boyfriend? I know you said you love him, but that doesn’t mean you’re IN love with him. And if you are attracted to him, are you MORE attracted to girls?
It sounds like you really like your boyfriend, but the fact that you want to sleep with someone else really shows that this relationship may not be the right one for you. It’s the same thing as you wanting to sleep with another guy. It’s still having sex with another PERSON. Would he be okay with you having sex with another guy? I’m going to guess no. He wants monogamy, but in his mind, it doesn’t apply to same-sex, because he thinks another girl can’t compete with him. WRONG. Sleeping with a girl is just like sleeping with a guy, feelings are involved! It’s having sex with someone that is not your significant other – guy or girl makes no difference.
I can’t tell you what to do or what your feelings are for your boyfriend. All I can do is tell you what I would tell any of my friends – if you’re thinking about other people and you want to sleep with other people, then the person you’re in a relationship with might not be the one for you and it might be time to end it.
This isn’t a case of a long distance relationship or long term relationship that needs spicing up (special circumstances) – this is simply you not getting the sexual gratification you need and you’re seriously considering finding it elsewhere. Why be in a relationship at all if you want to fuck someone else? If you’re thinking about other people when you’re with your boyfriend? What’s the point?
If you want to be with a girl, I think you should give yourself the chance. But I wouldn’t advise doing it while you’re in a committed relationship. If you want to explore something different, something that is REALLY calling to you, then you owe it to yourself to do that, just don’t string your boyfriend along with it. It’s not fair to him – even if he thinks it’s okay because I’m pretty sure you know how much it’s NOT okay… Your emotions are already invested in this. Is cheating for you really defined by whether it’s with a man or a woman? Sex is sex.
You’ll eventually find another girl that you want to be with or experiment with. They’ll come along somehow, somewhere, but you have a better chance of finding that when you are not in a relationship.
You’re young! This time of your life is all about exploring new things and discovering yourself. Give yourself the to opportunity to do that. Now is not the time to play it safe. This is your life! Don’t you want to see what’s out there?
Sumptuous Daydreams 