I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year now and we said from the beginning we would take our time and work up to things like kissing, making out, sex, etc. Problem is, we had sex a few times and I stopped it. IT FEELS AWKWARD. Almost like “I made a mistake” awkward… and I was wondering, can LACK OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION really be a good reason to loose feelings for someone in a relationship? He’s sweet and caring but I dunno if dating feels right… Am I being SHALLOW? INCONSIDERATE?

NO.

Lack of sexual attraction is one of the biggest and most simple reasons to break up with someone. You have every right to end it because the feelings just aren’t there. It happens!

It’s OKAY.

You’re not obligated to date him just because he’s a nice guy. Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there. That doesn’t make you a bad person! Lack of sexual chemistry is ABSOLUTELY a reason to break up with someone. It’s obviously not the only reason why you date a person, but it’s a huge part of it, and without it, your relationship is actually called “being friends”.

Don’t beat yourself up about it! You’re not to blame nor is he. You’re just not that into him. That’s all. That’s life. Try to make a clean break and move on. It doesn’t do either of you any good to force something like chemistry which is something that you simply either have or you don’t have. You can’t MAKE chemistry happen.

You’re not being shallow or inconsiderate. You’re being honest. Love doesn’t work the way we want it to work. We don’t get to make the rules. We don’t get to dictate the terms. Love does its own thing and we go along with it.