so i’ve been seeing this guy for a while and i want to get more intimate with him. my concern is, being my first time, i’ll be too nervous or self-conscious and make a mess of things, even though i have a very clear idea of how to go down etc. any tips for a beginner?

The first thing you need to accept is that there are going to be clumsy and awkward moments. Just know that. It’s normal. Everyone has that happen to them every time they start out with someone new. It will NOT be like it is in the movies.

Once you accept that there’s going to be missteps and awkward silliness, the better it will be. Because then when those moments happen, you have to be able to laugh them off together (and you will). There’s no need to freak out or freeze up just because of some minor misstep. Laugh about it. Accept it. And keep going! He’s going to be nervous too. So you’re not alone.

Relax, don’t overthink, and even if you have to pretend to be more confident than you really are, do it, because it will actually help you towards being more confident in a backhand sort of way. Does that make sense at all?

Don’t worry so much about him, he’s going to enjoy being with you no matter what. Remember, you’re not there just for HIM. You’re there together, as partners, to share and give each other pleasure. So that means you need to rely on him to work with you. You’re not alone on an island, okay? He’s there. Ask him questions if you’re unsure. Take it as slow as you’d like. Talk. Kiss endlessly. Do what makes you feel good and what you feel comfortable with.

If he’s not someone you feel like you can trust and talk to about this, then maybe you’re not ready for this step. You want to be with someone you trust. Okay? 🙂

The rest is going to come naturally.